You Can’t Please Everybody

Another Life Lesson from American Idol

I talk a lot about finding your truth, being your authentic self, and living your best life. Recently I wrote about inspiration I’m getting from watching American Idol.  I watch American Idol for the music and to see the young artists blossom. The bonus is that I receive messages from the Universe that I need to hear for my personal growth and that I can share with my clients. Katy Perry’s heartwarming exchange with contestant Wade Cota about finding himself gave me the chills.

A recent episode featured a conversation between contestant Bumbly [Cristina Corteras] and superstar Shaggy. My ears perked up when Bumbly asked Shaggy, “When you got started, how did you filter out all the negativity that was around…I’m sure people doubted you.” Shaggy’s reply: “the sad part is that it’s never going to go away; …I’ve won Grammys, sold millions and millions of records, and you still find people that have something negative to say. The best way to combat it is just not pay attention to it.”

Shaggy speaking with Bumbly on American Idol about not letting negativity derail your dreams.

Can I get an Amen?

Have I heard this before? Sure. And I need to keep hearing it as a reminder to be me – my authentic self – and to keep doing what’s in my heart. I cannot be wrong for that, despite what others may say. The people pleaser in me wants to make everybody happy. I spent so many years of my life trying to do that (and when I couldn’t, I’d find solace in Swedish fish and sweet-tarts; sugar made everything better). Time and time again I saw that, in fact, I cannot please everyone. As I get older (and wiser!) I realize that’s not a bad thing. It doesn’t make me wrong or stupid.

It just hurts so much; doesn’t it, when people say negative things about you? Or, even worse, perhaps, is when you fear the negative comments, lose your confidence and don’t allow the world to see your greatness. Remember this from Mark Twain:

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.

You can’t please everybody. That’s OK. Keep in mind what people say about you isn’t who you are. Their opinions are based on factors that are beyond your control.

I understand now allowing negativity to impact you is challenging. Honestly, I work on this all the time by meditating, journaling and reading books on self-growth.

Another way that helps me feel confident and self-assured is to practice affirmations such as:

I am enough.

I do my best with gratitude and joy.

Where would Jennifer Hudson be today if she allowed her elimination from Season 3 of American Idol to derail her dreams?

Follow her lead. Reach for the stars. Go after your goals. Create a life you love.

The only person you need to please is yourself.

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