I turned the page of Sunday’s (7/24/2011) New York Times and almost couldn’t believe what I was reading. An ad for New York Sports Clubs (of which I am a member) that screamed: your sexual orientation can’t stop you from getting married but your body can.

Yes, it was the first day that gay couples could marry legally in New York State. That is something to shout about! But to suggest that the way your body looks could make you undesirable and/or unworthy of marriage is a terrible message to send to millions of people.

Individuals who suffer from body image issues and eating disorders already feel trapped by their beliefs. The ad published by New York Sports Clubs perpetuates their low self-esteem and says, “If you don’t have a great body you aren’t lovable.” I remember feeling that way when many of my friends were getting married and I was single. However ridiculous the thought might have seemed to others, I wondered if it was because I wasn’t “skinny enough” to find the “right” guy.

I submitted a comment to Town Sports International /New York Sports in the Contact Us section of its website. Recently, Yoplait stopped airing  a commercial after the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) contacted General Mills about a commercial that was suggestive of thoughts and habits associated with disordered eating. Tom Forsythe, VP of Corporate Communications for General Mills, explained that the company didn’t see the ad in the way it was taken by NEDA and those who had complained, but out of concern for the population that is challenged with eating disorders the company decided to stop running the ad.

As a New Yorker, I am very happy that, finally, individuals in love, regardless of their sexual orientation, can get married legally. However, I don’t want to celebrate that at the expense of others who are suffering because of unreasonable societal standards.

After hearing Nell Merlino speak at Tory Johnson’s Spark and Hustle conference, I was inspired to create my BEST Life Plan – a one page document that would outline my intentions as I see them at this point in my life. Like a business plan, my life plan will be like a GPS and guide me to my desired outcome. Nell suggested reviewing the one page business plan every quarter and I can already hear my GPS saying “recalculating” as I redefine my goals and change course. And that’s OK. It’s allowed. That’s the great thing about taking the time to write out the plan – you are reminded where you thought you were going and can incorporate lessons learned and new information to seek out a new destination if you desire to do so. The important message to remember is to enjoy the journey.

1. Who are you? What are your core values? What do you want to achieve in your lifetime?
I am a kind, caring, intelligent, nurturing and loving woman. I am a wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, and aunt (LOVE my nieces and nephews). I serve as a Best Life Mentor to my health coaching clients. I encourage them and empower them to live their best lives through customized nutritional and lifestyle information. I offer people the guidance, support and resources they need to set themselves free from toxic habits like emotional eating, people pleasing and workaholism (issues that plagued me throughout my childhood and adult life).

My core values include: trust, honesty, loyalty, appreciation, health, spirituality, romance, equality, passion, wisdom, personal growth, zest for life, productivity, challenge, security, collaboration, community, responsibility and commitment.

In my lifetime, I want to be the best person I can be – for myself, for my family and friends and to the people who are brought into my life. I want to be a successful entrepreneur because my success will mean that I am being of service to others in a big way. I know I can change lives and I want to do that for people around the world.

2. What changes are you looking to make in your life? What problem(s) do you want to solve?
I am looking to be more productive. I want to be in better shape. These past few years have been wonderful and life-changing in such an extraordinary way, but I need to honor my body and routinely work out and attend yoga classes like I used to. I know when I do that I am in true alignment with my body, mind and spirit.

3. What difference(s) will the changes make? What are your objectives? What do you measure to track results?
I will get to sleep earlier in the evening so I consistently get seven hours per night. I will accomplish more during the day because I will have systems in place, maintain my focus and not allow distractions to disturb my day. I will lose 20 pounds and look and feel my best like I did on my wedding day. I will measure my business growth by the number of clients I am serving, the number of speaking engagements I am asked to do month to month and the success of the book I am writing.

4. What do you have to do to achieve your goals? What kind of support do you need?
I have to stay true to my core values and stay in alignment with my body, mind and spirit. That means including time for the gym or yoga every day, writing in my journal, spending quality time with Keith and serving my clients in a big way. I am working with a new assistant who has been fabulous. I look forward to her continued support and growing both personally and professionally with her by my side.

5. Action plan – what is the actual work you are doing? Step-by-step…
Create daily systems sheet and follow along each day. Continue writing weekly ezine. Write blog posts at least twice a week. Submit articles to various sites. Make at least 3 contacts per day for speaking engagements. Maintain contact with former clients to support their ongoing efforts toward health and wellness. Continue seeking new information for clients – make time for research and development so I can share the latest news.

This is a work in progress and I’ve already made a note in my calendar to update this toward the end of June for the summer months. I’m excited to have this life plan and to continue sharing my goals with you as I grow and change. I would love to hear about your life plans.

My husband, Keith, and I enjoyed a great Memorial Day Weekend. We went up to the Berkshires for a couple of days. We relaxed and spent quality time together. We were in the car a lot, with a three hour drive to the Berkshires on Friday and home on Sunday evening, and on Saturday we drove to Northampton and walked around a great craft show (and we shared a gluten-free lunch!).

We sat on the couch with his arm around me and watched television (when we’re at home we’re usually doing other things while watching tv, so I really don’t consider it quality time together). We ate our meals sitting at the kitchen table and ran errands together. On Sunday, we met up with my cousins for another relaxing meal.

Yesterday, we read in the paper in bed and then walked around a quiet New York City. We visited the street fair on Madison Avenue, sat down for a snack and talked about the week ahead. It was a great way to end a wonderful holiday weekend.

It started getting late so I asked Keith what he wanted to do for dinner. We both thought about it and he suggested going to Candle Cafe, because he knows I loooooove it there. Often times we pick up a dish for me and Keith either orders in from another restaurant or makes a meal for himself at home, so I offered that if he wanted to pick up something for me and he could get something else, he replied, “No, let’s just go sit and eat there.”

We enjoyed a nice early dinner, which made me happy because it meant we could go home, straighten up a bit and watch the hockey game together. As we prepared to leave Candle Cafe, I smiled and told Keith how happy I was that we had eaten early, enjoyed delicious food and that we could go home and relax. And he replied, “That’s why I wanted to stay here and eat. If we brought it home, you would have sat down for two bites, then gone on the computer, then sent some text messages, then made a “quick” phone call, and before we knew it, it would have been ten o’clock.”

OMG! I got a knot in the pit of my stomach. Keith’s loving remarks about sitting down at a restaurant to eat dinner together made me realize how “unpresent” I can be at home, how I let the myriad of distractions get to me. How interesting that over the weekend I bought a postcard to frame that reads: make the present moment into the most wonderful moment of your life.

I love that today is the first day of a new month. My intention for this month is to establish the habit of “being present.” I don’t want life to pass me by; I want to enjoy all the great gifts it has to offer. I thank my husband for being the special man that he is and teaching me such an important lesson.

Is there a habit you want to create this month? Have you been saying you are going to eat healthily but then think, “I’ll start tomorrow”?  Contact me and we can discuss how you can transform your life and begin living the healthy lifestyle you desire.

Overwhelmed – just writing the word makes me anxious. How does it make you feel? Do you live in a state of being overwhelmed? If so, you are not alone. 64% of Americans say they are taking steps to reduce stress in their lives and, according to the World Health Organization, an estimated 121 million people world-wide currently suffer from depression.

Think about some of the technology we have now (depending on your age, you may or may not have lived without any of this): ATM machines, television with hundreds of channels, DVR, cell phones, digital voicemail, and, of course, the internet/email. All of this is supposed to make our lives easier, and in many ways it does. But, in other ways, all of this technology adds to our to-do list, often leading to feelings of worry, stress, anxiety and depression.

A key to overcoming overload is to take 100% responsibility for your life.  That is not to say that being overwhelmed is “your fault,” but it does mean that you are the only person who can get yourself out of it. “Take 100% Responsibilty For Your Life” is the first chapter in Jack Canfield’s (co-creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series) national bestseller, The Success Principles. Why? Because it is the foundation upon which you can build the life you want.

Imagine this scenario: You joined a gym to get in shape. You haven’t gone yet because you are too tired in the morning – you are out late every night with friends who, you say, make you feel badly if you don’t join them. Or, you stay up late every night watching television and then hit the snooze button one too many times. Or, you work late every night , eat dinner late and then stay up late to decompress from the long day (I can absolutely relate to this one. Can you?)

Now, let’s envision the above scenarios and change the outcome by taking responsibility for our lives:

1. Friends want you to join them for dinner and then hang out at the bar. Though you enjoy spending time with your friends, your goal is to get in shape and you really want to go to the gym in the morning. You know you will be too tired if you go out after work. Instead of allowing peer pressure to overwhelm you, explain to your friends that you will join them one or two nights during the week, but the other nights you want to get home early, relax and get to sleep early so you can go to the gym in the morning before work. That is an example of taking 100% responsibility for your life and then you can have the best of both worlds – time with your friends and time at the gym.  The result: a happier, more physically fit YOU.
2. You stay up too late watching television and then hit the snooze button too many times in the morning. Now, you have to get ready for work and once again you missed the opportunity to go to the gym. Think about what you are watching – are you engrossed in history-making programs that will change the course of the world as we know it? Or, are you watching dramas about other people’s lives to escape the realities of your own? Get real with yourself and take responsibility for your life. Watch a comedy that makes you laugh and relax, then get into bed and read for a bit. You will fall asleep earlier and be rested to get up for the gym the next morning. What result can you generate in this scenario?
3. Overwhelmed at work – working late every night becomes the norm and you are not eating dinner until 8, 9 or sometimes 10 o’clock in the evening. Take control. Think about why you are working late. Are you getting enough support from your boss, colleagues and staff? Have you talked to your boss about how stressed you are because you cannot get your job done in a reasonable amount of time during the workday? Of course, this may be a difficult conversation, but one that is necessary for you to take 100% responsibility for your life. I can tell you from experience, this conversation can yield greatness in you that you never thought possible.

I understand the above scenarios, in which you take 100% responsibility for your life, may not seem easy to do. Start slowly and create habits which shift your perspective on your life. Taking responsibility for small shifts will give you the confidence to make a transformation for your best life.

Your assignment:

1. First and foremost, breathe. Write down some excuses you’ve used for not being your best you.
2. Now, write out ways you can alter those excuses to create healthy, nourishing habits.
3. Pick one to concentrate on for the next month. Once you are comfortable with this new habit, start with another modification to take 100% responsibility for your life.
4. Register for my tele-class on April 27.  A cleansing routine is a great way to begin taking responsibility 100% for your life.

This assignment will help you understand how you can take responsibility for your health and well-being. If you are concerned about your nutrition and lifestyle routines and know you want to do things differently so you can be your best every day, contact me  or call 917-603-2318.  At Bravo! Wellness, I work with my clients to create manageable lifestyle changes so they are able to achieve their greatest potential in life, health and business.